I Found the Best Airport Bathroom

Posted in At the Terminal, PHX

It’s time for some potty talk, people. If that makes you squeamish or uncomfortable, then you clearly didn’t grow up in my family. I was flying through Phoenix last week when I stumbled upon one of the Holy Grails of flying: a bathroom that was essentially private. People search these out in all facets of their lives. There are office drones that discover them in little visited basements and school employees that find them behind gyms. Even at home, those decorative hallway bathrooms downstairs become delightful respites when the main bathrooms upstairs are in use by six kids trying to get ready for school. Let’s coin a term for these fantastic throne rooms, shall we? I propose we call them…


A JohnGem is an out-of-the-way bathroom where you know you’ll be left alone. Due to its low foot-traffic, a JohnGem is rarely soiled and regularly cleaned because it’s still part of the cleaning staff’s rotation. A JohnGem is your toilet home away from home. Last week, I found a JohnGem at PHX.

While The Club at PHX doesn’t have their own bathroom, there is one across the hall. As luck would have it, The Club at PHX also happens to be located in a secluded area on the 4th floor of Terminal 4, a full floor up from the main terminal gates where busy passengers stuff themselves in and out of the restrooms like excretory clown cars. I wouldn’t be surprised if less than a handful of people had used the men’s room that day. It was clean, fresh, and best of all, empty. I could have stayed in there for hours if I had to and I bet nary a soul would have joined me. So where is this magical JohnGem? Just follow the map to the magic circle:

Terminal_4_L3_CurrentWalk upstairs and there you’ll find the best bathroom in all of Phoenix-Sky Harbor. All hail the JohnGem.

Do you have your own JohnGem? Share it here in the comments, but only if you don’t mind other people honing in your find.

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