In terms of ultimate luxuries in life, the list goes:

• Taking a bath in chocolate pudding
• Eating hot dogs at a cookout
• Ordering room service

There’s just something about having a full meal delivered to your room, complete with a white tablecloth, silver domes (fun fact: they’re called cloches), and tiny bottles of condiments. It all makes me feel like I’m a sheik or something.

I was given the opportunity (read: they covered the bill) to try out the in-room dining program at the Ojai Valley Inn and, like the rest of the resort, I found the whole experience elegant, calm, and on-point.

Let’s start with a constant: I’m a sucker for a lox and bagel plate. In fact, if you read my other room service reviews (and you should!), you’ll see that I’ve dined on smoked fish and bagels around the globe. As such, I had to order the house smoked salmon, which came with a toasted bagel — I chose onion — cream cheese, red onion, capers, tomato, and breakfast potatoes. Sadly, those potatoes never made it. I don’t know why they were left off the order, but they were. So be it. Had I been picking up the tab, I would have called down immediately, but we had plenty of food so it wasn’t a big deal.

The bagel itself was well toasted and the serving of smoked salmon was extremely generous. There would have been enough for two full bagels! With a giant mound of capers and fresh tomatoes and red onions, I was able to construct an admirable bagel sandwich. Mmmm. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

My girlfriend is a sucker for all things carb and she happened to miss the Belgian waffle station at brunch the previous day. Since I’m such a sucker for her, I had to find out if there were waffles available — even though they weren’t listed on the menu. As luck would have it, the property was more than happy to accommodate the request and we ordered a gorgeous waffle with fresh berries. Just look at that stunner up there. Va-va-va-voom!

To finish things off, we ordered a side of bacon extra-crispy and a fresh fruit plate. The bacon was perfect. Seriously. Some of the best I’ve had in a long time and the fruit made me feel like I was at least eating something healthy, so overall I have to declare this room service experience a total success. Check out the breakfast menu below and drop your order in the comments. If the Room Service Fairy* is listening, perhaps you’ll get a special delivery tomorrow morning.

*There’s no such thing as the Room Service Fairy. Sheesh. How old are you?