Hey look! Fly&Dine has turned into US Weekly! Not quite, but today definitely brings a tabloidy story to the table.

First off, I would watch a movie-of-the-week called “The Alex Baldwin Newark Navy Breakfast Story.” Wouldn’t you? What ever happened to Movies of the Week? They’re a lost art. How are we supposed to fictionalize important events like “White/Gold; Black/Blue” without hastily thrown together movies featuring C-list actors? Remember when Alyssa Milano played Amy Fisher in that Joey Buttafuoco movie? I do.

Anyway. A Redditor named stoogedood posted a photo of actor Alec Baldwin (30 Rock, The Hunt for Red October, mean calls to his daughter) from an airport restaurant with the caption “Ran into Alec Baldwin at an airport restaurant in Newark International. We just graduated from Navy boot camp yesterday, and he bought us all breakfast. Thanks Alec!” You can see a grab of the photo above.

So, basically, aspiring seapeople graduate from Naval boot camp. They fly out from Newark to wherever (I’m assuming back home before deployment) and have breakfast before the flight. Alec Baldwin’s also eating breakfast and decides to pick up the tab to celebrate. That’s pretty much the whole story.

The comments on Reddit are less than generous and range from “you’re a damn liar” to “you’re a creep for taking that photo” but despite the etiquette of taking photos of celebrities in public, I would like to believe it’s true. In my mind, Baldwin saw the graduates in their Naval finest and decided to buy some omelets to celebrate. Jack Donaghy loved America. It wouldn’t be a stretch to see Baldwin as a generous patriot, too.

If this really were a Movie of the Week, Baldwin would be investigating a terrorist who had managed to sneak into the US Navy training program to take it down from the inside. After a stint at boot camp, Baldwin finally isolates the traitor to four people, who were all best friends at boot camp. Upon their graduation, he tracks them to EWR where he finds out that one of them (the one with the “later flight”) is actually heading to Turkey to cross the border into Syria to join ISIS. Just before he steps on the plane, Baldwin grabs him and says “Sorry, pal. You’re all washed up!” Then he turns to the camera and says “Navy pun!” Then the credits roll.

I like the real story better.